As someone who has, over the past year and a half, lost over three stone (that's 42 pounds), one of the things I discovered was that we constantly encourage each other to failure, mostly so that we don't feel badly ourselves. "Oh, go on, have another cake," we encourage someone who is hesitating. "You know you want to." Or "it's a shame to leave that to waste, you may as well eat it." "Maybe we should make dinner at home" - "Nahhh, let's eat out again." If everyone around us is doing badly then we don't look so bad.
The same applies to making and keeping resolutions. Losing weight was not a resolution - it was just something I did. My resolution was extremely simple, one to help me with self discipline and actually achieve something in terms of reading this year. As a voracious reader, I had quite literally stacks and stacks of books I'd started but never finished. I'd begin with great intentions, and then get tired of the topic, or I'd find something new and exciting, or I'd simply forget about my half-read book altogether. So, my 2012 resolution was:
- Not to begin any new book until I'd completely finished every book I had partly begun,
- Once I'd done that, if I started a new book, to finish it all the way through before starting another,
- and, not to re-read any books.
But that's exactly what I did - all year long. And this morning a friend posted that they were thinking of resolving to do exactly that this year, and the resolution hadn't been kept as of the 2nd of January. And every single comment was along the lines of "Yes, that resolution is impossible, best not even to try."
I say it is possible. I say it's hard and discouraging and weary some days, but isn't that the point of a resolution? To stretch you, to push you, to make things difficult on purpose so that you reach a more glorious goal? My realisation for 2013 is that the secret for happiness is to do the things you don't feel like doing. It's true spiritually - if you can't be bothered to read your Bible, you do it anyway, and you discover an amazing truth in its pages, perhaps an encouragement (or a kick up the backside). It's true physically - going for a walk or to the gym when you're weary and tired and frustrated, and you feel rejuvenated and clearer. It's true emotionally - refusing to listen to your moods and trusting what you know to be true (about God, about the world, about yourself) actually can turn a mood around. It's true relationally - pushing yourself to show love to someone even when you're a bit frustrated with them, simply because you have chosen and committed to love them, actually stirs up further feelings of love for them. It's true for your work - the days I've achieved the most are when I work on something I've been avoiding for days (or longer), and actually complete it.
And it's true for making resolutions. I've been making very simple resolutions for three years now, and haven't broken one.
Keep them very simple, specific, and achievable, is the key. Bear in mind that this is a full year - it's a really long time. Don't resolve to "eat less sugar" - resolve to eat no sugar for a week every month. Don't resolve to "read your Bible more" - resolve to read through the whole Bible in a year. Make your resolution something that won't be broken if you have a bad day. (Because you will have some bad days.) Make it something that you can look back on in a year's time and say, "Yes. I did that. I never broke it, and I'm proud of that."
The odd thing is, I haven't decided on my 2013 resolution yet. But that's another thing I've learned - resolutions don't have to start on the 1st January. When you realise it might be a good thing to do, whatever it is, start it then. Even if it's on the 2nd January, or the 23rd February, or the 17th July. Just start - and finish. Most people won't understand, because it's hard. But there are a few who will.
